Most who know me this day, know that I am a fierce, passionate Jesus lover. My close friends would probably describe me as a "Jesus Freak," and I am certainly proud of that. My relationship with Jesus has drastically changed my life and has given me a kind of joy and hope that I have never known. But I haven't always been that way. In fact, during my mid-high school years and early college years, I rejected God. I was flat out mad at him for the things that were happening in my life. So, in other words, for five years of my life, I wasted a time that could have been a beautiful time of growth in my relationship with Christ, and instead decided to things my own way, without Christ thriving in my heart.
It was probably the darkest period of my entire life thus far. There were so many things that were happening that I couldn't comprehend why God would simply allow to happen. Being a moody high school girl as well (ha, sorry ma and pa), my emotions were amplified toward every situation. Number one, I remember being so upset with God for the weight problem that I had in high school. I wanted my metabolism to be faster and I wanted to eat whatever I wanted at all times and not gain any weight (ha ha, wouldn't that be nice). In all honesty though it was hard, because I was seriously overweight even though I was eating just like the rest of my friends. And ESPECIALLY since as girls we tend to be extremely negative and critical toward our bodies, it wasn't an easy thing to go through at such a pivotial time of change within my life.
Then I also had some really hard things happen in my circle of friends following my weight problem. People rejected me and it stung like the worst bee sting in the entire world. I'm not sure if there really is anything worse than rejection. It is probably one of the hardest things that we experience as humans. Praise God for Jesus, because I know now my worth well enough to know that someone rejecting me is God directing me to something better.
So how can you apply this to your own life? Well maybe you too, are going through something just seriously hard and horrible and ugly that makes you want to curl up in a corner and cry. It might be something horrible like a family member or close friend battling cancer, or it may be something that can easily feel just as worse like a close friend rejecting you.
Here are some important things to remember when you are tempted to be mad at God for things going on in your life:
1) The ugly in this world, It isn't God's fault, it is the result of Adam and Eve rebelling in the garden.
God created us because He loved us. God never intended for the UGLY in this world: death, rejection, hurt, pain, cancer, disease, unhealthy addictions, rape, abuse....none of this was ever God's will. But because of what Adam and Eve did when they sinned in the garden, man and women must suffer at times and go through pain. Until Jesus comes back, we will never live in a perfect world.
Verse reference: Genesis 3, 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, & Psalm 46:1-2
2) The bad that may be happening to you is NOT a reflection of God's lack of love for you. God still fiercely and passionately loves you.
Yes, Yes Yes! And I KNOW this seems impossible to believe when your world is falling apart. But what if God is allowing these things to happen because He wants to draw you to Himself in an entirely new way? We cannot control what is happening around us. In John 3:16, God says that He loves everyone in this world. But because we live in an imperfect world, we all deal with good and bad. God sees our pain and is able to take it and use it for OUR GOOD! How awesome is that? The key is that we have to keep trusting Him.
Verse references: James 1:1-4, Romans 8:28, John 3:16-17
3) God has a purpose for you pain
I believe that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). I think that no matter what tragedies you have experienced, God wants you to trust that He is going to form something beautiful out of it. Maybe God wants to use your pain to encourage others who are going through something similar. Your story can be beautiful and it be a light to others if you choose to trust that Jesus is working it all for the good.
Verse references: Romans 8:28, John 9
I believe God is working all thing together for the good in your life. Right here, right now. Please remember that you are LOVED.