I'll admit, one of the main reasons why I was inspired to write this post was because of the episode that aired last night on the Bachelorette. I've been watching the show for a while, and in the past, I have chosen to watch certain seasons over the others, due to to the fact that some seasons tend to be less raunchier than the rest.
But last night’s episode...that was bad. I was left feeling disgusted, annoyed, and just plain angry.
On the episode, the men were challenged to share embarrassing sexual experiences of the past. Each one stood up in front of the crowd and shared stories of how they had lost their virginity, or just stories in general of times where they had had sex. I couldn't help but feel sorry for these guys---did they feel the "pressure" to have sex at such a young age to be “cool”? Were some of them lying about having sex at a young age in order to fit in with the rest of the men? Did some of them deep down feel ashamed like I did five years ago for having sex outside of marriage?
You see, our culture has it all wrong on sex before marriage. It's like we think that God didn't know what He was talking about when he said save sex for marriage. I understand that a lot of the guys on the bachelorette aren’t Christians so maybe they don’t care about saving sex before marriage, but I can’t help but wonder if any of them feel like lost in the crowd like I used to—with feelings of guilt and shame for their actions.
Today I want to share 3 reasons Why God Doesn't Want You to Have Sex Outside of Marriage. I know that as Christians we all know that sex before marriage is an obvious no in the Bible, but people don’t often talk about the why behind it. Why is sex before marriage bad? Why does God give us this command? Is he trying to hold something good back from us? This might be questions lingering through your head in regards to sex before marriage.
I’m taking the stance that anyone and everyone has the opportunity to become a Christian (1 Timothy v4), so therefore I believe that this post can apply to anyone, not just Christians. Maybe someone will read this who doesn’t know the Lord, and are curious as to why God gives Christians this command. Maybe just maybe, that person will decide to enter into a relationship with Jesus (YAY!).
3 Reasons Why God Doesn't Want You to Have Sex Outside of Marriage
1) Sex Before Marriage Will Damage You Emotionally
The Bible says that when a man and a woman enter into marriage, they become one flesh (Genesis 2v24). This means, the man and his wife become one team together, meaning they are linked to each other physically as well as emotionally. If we pursue sex outside of marriage, we are setting ourselves up for an emotional disaster. Sex is such an intimate and personal act created by God, so if we have sex with someone we are not married to, of course we are going to feel tied to them emotionally in a way unlike anything else. This eventually will lead to to greater heartache in our life if we continue with this lifestyle, because our hearts will be tangled up in an emotional mess with someone that we have not yet entered into a covenant of marriage with.
2) Sex Before Marriage Will Damage Your Relationship With God
The Bible talks about sin in a very serious way. It even goes as far to talk about sexual sin separately apart from other types of sin, as if to label it more seriously, perhaps to warn people of the negative consequences it can bring. If we are pursuing a lifestyle of sin such as sex before marriage, we are essentially telling God: “Sorry God, I am going to do things my way. You didn’t know what you were talking about when you told me to save sex for marriage, and my relationship with You really is not important to me.”
Let’s take a look at a verse in the bible about sexual sin.
“Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”
1 Corinthians 6:18-20
This verse is nuts (in a good way). God is literally telling people to run from any kid of sexual sin or sexual temptation in our lives (pornography, lust, etc.), because he is aware of how it will ruin our relationship with Him.
3) Sex Before Marriage Will You Leave You Unfulfilled
Sex in general is certainly NOT a bad thing to want at all. It is definitely something that will fulfill and strengthen us in our relationships with our partners within marriage. However, if it is pursued outside of marriage, it isn’t going to leave us fulfilled.
Probably one of the main things that people have wrong on why God commands sex within marriage only is that we think that He is holding us back from something great. This is interesting because He is actually doing the opposite---He is protecting us! Sex in general is a beautiful thing. It is definitely something to look forward to in marriage, and it is certainly nothing to look down upon. But the KEY is that it needs to be in marriage, so that way we can thoroughly enjoy it and appreciate it in the way that God always intended us to—shame and guilt free.
I hope these help you if you are questioning at all WHY God gives us the command not to have sex before marriage. Clearly God knows what He is doing with all of the commandments He gives us in His word, but sometimes it is helpful to have more of a background on crucial topics such as sex.